When Bleak Friday Comes
The Archbishop's Gonna Sanctify Me
Praise Him! The Lord of Commerce has arrived. How will you worship this day? Will you be shoulder to shoulder, pressing flesh with the masses, or will you be refreshing that web page scanning for the best “deals?”
As an American consumer, you must pray to the Lord of Commerce. Your ‘spending’ accounts for 2/3rds of the American economy and, without you, there would be no ‘Murica.
There is only one direction that consumer spending can go…up! So, open that Holy Book (wallet) and pray to the Lord of Commerce. Your salvation is found in securing that ‘crazy deal’ at Amazon or Walmart or Target.
I know, “Bidenomics” destroyed the U.S. economy. That’s why consumers only spent $16.11 trillion dollars last quarter. As Peter Griffin on Family Guy said: “Things aren’t so great for us right now. That’s why we’re so fat.”
This is a competition, and you are the athlete. Today is a Holy Day, if you don’t ‘shop,’ you are a sinner. Besides, the emotional benefits are powerful!
Shopping Makes You Feel Better
Forget professional counselors or therapists, most of them are just working out their own messed up lives…living vicariously through your traumas. (Note: my therapist does improvisational dance during our sessions) Retail Therapy is where you want to go to be healed.
But you ask, won’t this conflict with my spiritual teachings? Aren’t Greed and Gluttony some of the deadly sins? Will maxing out my Visa go against the teachings of my faith?
Fear not, oh ye of little faith. Remember that awesome $16 trillion in spending last quarter? That same quarter, total U.S. credit card debt reached $1.166 trillion. That is an all-time record high!
We are doing it. We are feeding our corporate overlords so they can buy a new mansion or mega-yacht while we swim in debt and medical bills. Yay ‘Murica!
This is as our Lord Jesus would want. So, spending massively on credit is completely in line with the teachings of the Church. Not everyone agrees. Remember the creepy Christian Nationalist freak Doug Wilson and his video on The Natural Use of the Woman? Remember, her role was to “make the sandwiches.” (because she is the weaker vessel).
You don’t need to shop. Wilson knows how to really make you feel better. You begin by listening to his voice. It is his favorite thing to do, so it should also be yours. If there is a single human on this planet, other than Tangerine Palpatine himself, that is obviously emotionally crippled, it is Doug Wilson. Sure, he has spawned any number of millennial preachers as disgusting and creepy, but he is an OG of creep.
Jesus wants you to be shopping. The Christian Nationalist freaks want you smashing your iPhone and rejecting the Satanic pull of your American Express card. Especially if you are a weaker vessel.
Creepy White Racist Talibangelical QAnon Assholes
If these creepy Talibangelicals have their way via Project 2025, there will be no more Black Friday. The name will be changed to White Friday. White Power Friday?
James (beat your children well) Dobson is one of the longest tenured of these weirdos. These freaks all came out of abusive homes with fucked up fathers. Instead of doing the right thing and just having children and then passing that abuse down to their progeny, they created “ministries” where they could spread their abuse en masse. They ensured the cycle of abuse would fester for generations.
It is a safe bet that Doug Wilson worshipped at the altar of Dobson to feed the spiders in his small brain. Dobson was the OG of Militant Christian Masculinity. No more pussy Jesus.
The current nominee to head the 2.8 million Americans in the military as SecDef is a disciple of Doug Wilson.
Hegseth is not just a sexual abuser, like so many “Christian Nationalists.” He is legitimately dangerous.
Dobson (who calls himself a ‘psychologist’) founded Focus on the Family and was one the most well-known Talibangelicals of the early movement. Dobson authored numerous books, and he advocated beating the “strong willed child.” (No childhood trauma there, dude.) He is vehemently anti-gay, anti-abortion and basically anti anything that can be labelled as “secular.” He is part of the Patriarchal Project 2025 proponents that want to make America into Jesusland and keep the ‘mens’ in charge. (Wimmins, after all, are weaker vessels.) Dobson is the one who said that battered wives actively sought “the prize” of being beaten. This is how unholy the weaker vessels are, they trick the big, strong man into smacking them around so that they could break God’s covenant of marriage. Ferfuxsake.
“Dobson had recommended a healthy skepticism toward certain allegations of domestic violence. In Love Must Be Tough (1983), he warned of women who “deliberately ‘baited’” their husbands into hitting them, “verbally antagoniz[ing]” them until they got “the prize” they sought: a bruise they could parade before “neighbors, friends, and the law” to gain a “moral advantage,” and perhaps also justify an otherwise unbiblical escape from marriage through divorce. This argument remained unchanged in his 1996 edition of the book.” ― Kristin Kobes Du Mez, Jesus and John Wayne: How White Evangelicals Corrupted a Faith and Fractured a Nation
If you want to know how America got here, read Kobes Du Mez’s book. It explains everything in graphic detail.
Dobson also was a defender of all the Christofascist Talibangelicals who were being exposed for screwing male escorts and underage girls. It was always the fault of the victim. Always. The young man seduced the pastor. The 13-year-old girl was “dressed provocatively.” What was the pastor to do, take his Christian-male virility down a dark alley where he wouldn’t see the teenager in her ‘seductive’ clothing?
One of Dobson’s proteges cut ties with him in 2016 when Dobson supported the thrice married, philandering scumbag running for President.
“I know Dr. Dobson used to be a champion for the family as a foundation of society. I know he used to stand for men and women being faithful to one another in marriage and working together to raise their children. I know he used to stand against anyone who supported any type of sexual behavior that deviated from traditional Christian views.” -- Paul Mathis
Of course, Dobson wasn’t the only Talibangelical to become a complete hypocrite to his so-called “faith.” He had, after all, blamed the thirteen-year-old girl who was raped by the pastor. Backing T***p was hardly a stretch.
Who can forget Ted Haggard hanging off the edge of the stage as he screeched about the “sins of homosexuality,” while he was doing meth and banging male prostitutes? The “I think I know what you did last night?” Talk about a Holy Fuck.
Yeah, Ted. We think we know what you did too. The good news is Jesus saved you. It’s all good now.
Separation of Church & State
This is what we are fighting people. It is true that nowhere in the U.S. Constitution does it explicitly say that there “should” be a separation of church and state. The First Amendment merely states that “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion” Congress, the Article One part of our government. The Legislative Branch which is supposed to hold power OVER the Executive (Article Two) Branch…as James Madison intended.
It was only via Jefferson’s letter to the Danbury Baptist Association in 1802 that we get the phrasing.
“Believing with you that religion is a matter which lies solely between Man & his God, that he owes account to none other for his faith or his worship, that the legitimate powers of government reach actions only, & not opinions, I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people which declared that their legislature should 'make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof,' thus building a wall of separation between Church and State.” –Thomas Jefferson
Jefferson NEVER mentions Jesus, ever. He refers to a “common Father and Creator of man.”
The people behind Project 2025 are Christian Nationalists and they are the greatest threat the country has ever faced. All of us will need to be strong to fight against this insanity. Yes, these people are complete and total hypocrites. They are NOT Christians. They are emotionally broken people living in a fairy tale…one that was written at least two thousand years before “Jesus” ever came along. I discussed the more than dozen saviors that preceded the Christ in this post.
For decades, we have listened to them drone on about “Family Values,” while they raped young girls and prostitutes and engaged in gay sex and beat their wives and molested their own children. They are some truly sick fucks.
I want to be clear; Donold is NOT in charge. It is not T***p 2.0 like everyone keeps telling themselves. T***p is old and spent and all he wants to do is play golf and Bleat on his shitty app. The people in charge, the shot-callers, are the Council for National Policy. It is absolutely imperative that you understand this. If you want to “Resist,” you need to know what you are resisting. It is NOT T***p. The CNP has the levers of power now. What they will do with this power is yet to be seen, but we should be prepared for the worst. The real “Black/Bleak Friday” is coming in 2025.
A very powerful article. Thank you. I also believe that it’s the Christian Nationalists and Evangelical groups behind Trump that are running the show. He is the charismatic personality that hold the people’s attention, though. I’m hoping that when he’s gone, things will change and the mesmerized cult members will be free. It does feel like an evil, dark force that has them in a stranglehold. Their weakness is also very much at fault, though.